| It could be the 1920's or something... Posted Tuesday, 06 June 2006 | ||
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| I found sepia on my camera. Now it looks like the opening credits of The Sullivans. Very pretty Halong Bay - more pics when I bring out the right CD with me! doh! Ooh, ooh, ohh - I forgot to let on about Colette's claim to fame. Colette, if you’ve been reading closely, was someone we met in a bar who is an editor on the English language section of Vietnam radio. Anyway, she is also now the recorded voice on Vietnam's largest mobile phone network - Vinafone. The night we had dinner was the first time she would be heard. Throughout the evening she kept checking to see if she had 'gone live'. As yet she hadn't but suddenly, after many a cut price Mojito, there she was. Colette was out on the street jumping up and down. I went out after her and took the phone. There, in a refined Melbourne accent, I heard the words: "Press one for English. Thank you. Press one for customer services." This voice would end up being one of the most listened to by expats in the whole of Vietnam yet people would never meet the face behind voice or know that her favourite restaurant was Little Hanoi 1, she loved aubergines and had been engaged three times. I was very excited, as you can tell. After a few too many cocktails we awoke at the crack of arse to go to Halong Bay - about 200 kms from Hanoi. Our tour guide was annoyingly chirpy and couldn’t sense the many hangovers on the bus. At 8 am she made us all introduce ourselves to one another - like a mild version of one of those horrid ice breakers at conferences. She turns to Wendy and she goes: "Hello, you are very bresty." All at once several heads turn and stupors are broken - did she just say that? I mean, yer, Wendy is quite breasty. But you wouldn't just say it straight off, without even meeting her surely? I mean it's a trifle forward. "Sorry," said Wendy, laughing. "Oh, I am sorry. My Ingliss pronunciation is quite bad. I say you are very pretty." "Oh," we all go us one, a settle back into our hangover slumbers. When we get to Halong Bay we find our boat. It's a fantastic wooden yacht with a dining deck, sun deck and really nice bedrooms. We all know we've paid differently as they are some distinctly unscummy people on the boat. But we agree not to let on how much as it would just be embarrassing. We don't let on we've only paid $22 for two days and one night. We are fairly satisfied we've got the best deal. We settle into an enormous meal and head out to the beautiful bay. Limestone crags jut out into the sea in their thousands. Islands appear from nowhere and caves dot the rocks. There are so many crags it feels like you are in a very large lake - not a bay in the sea at all. On our boat are Japanese, moody Italians, English people, Aussies and New Zealanders. We make a half-hearted attempt to ingratiate ourselves with the moody Mediterraneans and the Japanese who speak no English but give up and have an English speaking table instead. It being my week for meeting minor celebs we discovered that Brian, the engaging New Zealander who worked in plant science, also presented the country’s leading farming programme. It was like Heat magazine, it really was. So we kayaked, saw eagles I think, had nice fish, got bitten by mozzies, got sunburnt and went to crazy cave systems. Highly reccomneded. Wendy and Ben's in-word of the week:'Victim' - a stupid foreigner who loves South East Asia so much they try and 'look local' by wearing baggy orange trousers, get henna tattos and the like. In the end they look nothing like the locals who wear Nike tops. But victims walk around with an air of superiority suggesting they know best. | ||
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