| This is the quiet French heart of Laos' second largest city Posted Monday, 08 May 2006 | ||
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| So here we were in Luang Prabang and about 30 of us who were on the Mekong river boat ended up in Mr Hong's cafe bar. And Mr Hong was really pleased to see us. A huge bottle of Beerlao was a very reasonable 10,000 kip (about 60p) and with it you got a free shot of Lao Lao - a particularly potent and disgusting local rice based whisky. Inevitably some drunkenness occurred. Alas, however, Laos has more draconian licensing laws than the UK used to have and by 11 we would all have to go. Except Mr Hong had a special room, for special people to drink Beerlao and Lao Lao after hours. So the remaining few of us (Me, Wendy, Doug and some loud mouth antipodeans) piled in. The fact Mr Hong put on a Whitney Houston DVD was the first clue. The fact he kept smiling at me and Doug was the second. Within minutes he was showing us pictures of his boyfriend who lived, where else if you own a bar in the middle of Indochina, but Bourne End in Berkshire; "He's a chartered accountant. I think he looks like Kevin Costner." He looked like a chartered accountant. So then Mr Hong shuffles close: "We have an open relationship", he whispers in my ear whilst placing his hand on my leg. Okaaaaaaaaay. Alrighty. Now, at this juncture this is all quite dodgy but you have to remember that: A) He was our ticket to a late night lock-in, and B) He was quite small and if he tried anything he wouldn't get very far. Even I could restrain him. So, the plan was, flirt enough to stay but not enough to actually get anywhere near jiggy. Eventually I say: "I have a boyfriend in Australia and he's very jealous so I can't do anything" as I remove his clammy hand from my leg. Then I look over towards Doug and Mr Hong's gaze follows. Oh yes, flirt divert. Poor Doug though - younger than me and more drunk. So a few days later with a few boat people in tow we head down Hong's again to see if we can get a few beers in for another hour or so. He welcomes us with open arms but says we have to be quiet. We bring with us a load more blokes and sure enough the Hongmeister is on heat: "There is an election on, if you stay after 12'" he says, "You have to stay till 6. It's the law". Yer, whatever. So he tries it on with every boy - some are like 'go away' whilst others play the game. But by 2am none of us have bitten and suddenly it's "OK, you must go now, I'm tired and you are noisy". What about the curfew you may ask. Well. I doubt it ever existed. To be fair he was a sweet guy who was very hospitable and none of us were in danger of any Hong loving - but he was going to give it his best shot anyway. Luang Prabang is a lovely city - absolutely tiny and full of wooden Indochinese buildings the likes of which have all been bulldozed in Thailand. French townhouses line the main streets now house smart bakeries, coffee shops and restaurants. Baguette sellers line the street corners and The Laughing Cow cheese in omnipresent. So they have no street lights, piss poor hospitals and open sewers, but who needs them really? We explored an enormous waterfall, went round countless temples and cycled to villages where we they make tools and another where they make silk and paper. We went to the Lao Royal Palace where, eerily, you can see the bedrooms and possessions of the last King and Queen but learn nothing of how the Communist regime dumped them in a cave in the mountains to die when they took power. We went to a local disco (think underage nightclub in a hotel ballroom) and had herbal saunas. The locals hate dark skin as this is what farmers have. So they whiten their skin with all manner of Nivea and Olay whitening creams. Enter Wendy into sauna and she is plat du jour - her milky white shoulders and legs stunning the local woman. I highly recommend this relaxed, classy yet underdeveloped small city surrounded by the forests and inhabited by people who are some of the friendliest we've met. What I saw a monk doing this week: Trying to sell someone weed. Ben's squit-o-meter: No news is good news. The sound on the streets of Luang Prabang: The obligatory Black Eyed Peas, but, refreshingly, some Japanese pop making a new entry. | ||
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