| The last days in Hong Kong Posted Thursday, 23 March 2006 | ||||
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| Here's the thing right - when I say 'em guy si' (thank you) to anybody on Hong Kong this smile/giggle floods their faces like I've just told them an incredible amusing joke and granted them a days extra paid holiday. Wendy says the same thing and nothing - no reaction at all or maybe just a hurrumph. Wendy reckons it's because shes saying it correctly and like in Britain they barely recognise it - while I have the pronunciation all wrong and am actually saying words to the effect of "I have stools in the shape of Mao Tse Tung's image - do you want to see?" She however is just jealous that I have won over all of Hong Kong and she is instantly disliked. "As at home", I told here, "As at home." Anyways, so HK. It's feeling very homely now which is a shame as I'm just about to leave. I have my Octopus Card (which is the HK Oyster card) - we've done the Peak overlooking HK skyline, we've had a trip on the Star Ferry across the harbour, we've haggled in electronic shops, we've stared in supermarkets as people pick live prawns out of a tank and we've gone to see the Big Buddha in the incredibly picturesque island of Lantau. An odd detour we had was when were ascending the mid-levels escalator - HK being so steep they decided the only way to take people up the slopes was to build several miles of interconnecting escalators over the streets. Amidst the concrete we spy a patch of green and we disembark the escalator to find ourselves outside a mosque. We venture into the mosque gardens, have a peek here and there and notice an old gentleman with very few teeth wearing a dressing gown staring at us. "Quick," I say to Wendy, "Let's get out of here, he hates us". So we move to depart when he says "No rain today, huh?" We nod in that English 'please go away and leave us alone you potential murderer' way, but not being English he engages us in conversation for the next 45 minutes. He tells us how the Mosque bought all the land and that's why there are old houses and gardens where skyscrapers should be. He tell us about the macroeconomics of HK, he explains how HK worked so efficiently under UK rule they left the entire civil service and government the way it is, the only differences now being 1. Chinese words appear before English rather than after and 2. there is now widespread corruption. And then he just got surreal and started asking us how the 'Queen of England' keeps all her houses clean. "Servants?" we suggest. "But when she is away, do they clean?" We ponder this but say that maybe they do make the beds even when Queenies away. And then he goes on about Buckingham Palace, the engineering and artistry of thatched cottages and the splendour of Bath's Georgian Crescents. "So you've been to the UK before?" I say. "No never," holy man in dressing gown with bad teeth replies, "I've just read a lot of books." And with that the wailing began and he excused himself. We left the mosque and went back down the escalator. "I don't even think he was holy, " says Wendy, "I think he was just a man in a dressing gown in a park." Aside from that we've been to the expat pub hell of Wyndham Street in Central. HK seems short on pubs - this is because they are all on one street. It's a bit like the Wetherspoon's tastic ness of Brighton's West Street combined with the street drinking of Majorca x by 5 and then add in a frisson of intrigue as the number of Western businessman and young Chinese woman seems about equal. We eschew this cos we're right snobs and instead head off in search of the Hoxton/Camden Town/KempTown of HK. Failing to find this we just follow two mincing blokes to see where they are going and sure enough they lead us to 'The Works'. The entry corridor is black, the stairs are black, the door is black and we almost run away but for the fact we can hear Madonna. We enter to find a club painted black and with no women except the one I'm with. So four pints later (they have pints here too!) we feel much better and decide that as some of the Western men are quite young and attractive just like the Chinese men and we are in an incredibly rich city maybe its not exploitative at all and all very consensual. By now shitted we head back to Wyndham Street which is much less scary and drink beers whilst listening to a Chinese band cover Blur songs. Today, we headed to Kowloon and Wendy and I had our fortune's read. Wendy has back problems (true) and will have up to 4 kids but should stop at 2. She is coming up to a good decade but is a bit chatty and should keep her mouth closed as this indicates laziness. I have my mouth closed so indicating I am hardworking. I should have a career involving talking and am also coming to a good decade.. In the future I will have the choice of a thin girl to marry or a slightly chunky one - I should opt for the latter as her heart will feel more. I should also eat more vegetables as I might get diabetes. So look out all you chunky hunky ladies cos Ben is on the prowl. I bid you and Hong Kong farewell as I head to Thailand. | ||||
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